CAUTIOUS
STEPS ON BEING A MAN
"The first step on being a MAN.
Ignoring the hunger, because yes boy you will be starving, starved of attention, starved of affirmation, starved of love, starved of being told you are enough.
Step two on being a MAN.
Comfortability with replaceability. You are only as good as you are useful, you are only as valuable as you are needed by others, if there ever comes a day boy, where you fail to provide for everyone with a smiling face, don't be surprised when they tell you all that men do is take up space." -Unknown
Step three on being a MAN.
Sacrifice. To sacrifice for everyone around you, including yourself, sacrifice for your goals and to sacrifice for the better outcome for the ones around you. Remember one thing boy, through every dark night, there's a bright day, so no matter how hard it gets boy, stick your chest out, keep your head up, and handle it.
Step four on being a MAN.
Integrity. The day you're faced with a challenge boy, you better think of who you aspire to be. Staying stern in your values and holding yourself accountable. Get comfortable with failure boy, because without failure you cannot grow.
Step five on being a MAN.
Building. You cannot go through life just showing up, eating, and sleeping boy. You will get depressed boy. You need problem solving, you need stress. You need something difficult to overcome, and through that you will last, happiness doesn't always last boy, but nearly comes and goes.
Step six on being a MAN.
Never giving up. If you give up, what do you have to be proud of, you'll be proud that you never gave up boy. go after your dreams boy, never compromise that. Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Your time is going to come. What scares you more, The idea of failing or the idea of knowing you never tried.
Step seven on being a MAN.
Exhaustion. You need to get tired; you need to get tired o what's going on in your life, get tired of your habits, get tired of your results, get tired of the actions that you're putting in every day. No one cares when you're tired boy, don't stay there, if you take on the journey don't complain. You must change boy, or nothing changes.
Step eight on being a MAN.
Pain. Giving up pleasure for purpose. Take your purpose back boy, don't let the world give you a purpose, because you will be forgotten, redundant, interchanged. There is no easy way, there is only hard work. All this pain is necessary to achieve success.
Step nine on being a MAN.
Controlling your emotions. You're capable of so much. Fueled with power unknown to yourself. Be cautious in your reactions boy. Don't let that power control you, you control the power. Slow to anger, fueling your ambitions. Open doors don't knock them down boy, its you against you.
Step ten on being a MAN.
Discipline. Don't mistake motivation for discipline boy, motivation is a feeling that comes and goes boy, and its doesn't matter if its there or not, discipline is infinitely more important. Discipline gives you power to love yourself. Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray boy. Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is foolish.
Step eleven on being a MAN.
Loneliness. Teaching yourself to obey everything you have commanded yourself to do and become boy. One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Surely you are with you always, to the very end of the age boy.
-Adam McClain
Inspiration
I was inspired to write about the meaning of being a man, and some of the difficulties some may face or feel during their journey. My idea was to try and explain some areas of growth that are often not talked about. It is more than just a physical change, it is an emotional and spiritual change, which you can either avoid or embrace, and can happen at many different ages. It may seem easier to avoid but it comes at a cost, and to embrace, comes with much responsibility and discipline, but it is something that will bring you peace in who you are, and understanding of both the world and yourself. By no means do i think i know all the answers, but this is my journey and my truth and i want to share my experiences, thoughts, and lessons that have been instilled within me. Much of my beliefs and practices that I hold true to myself, and expressed in this poem, I learned from my father. Simply watching him as I've grown up has taught me more than I even know, and guides me every day. Without his influence I would not be as far as I am today. I hope this can lead someone to feel inspired, fulfilled, or motivated.
I made the visuals entirely in procreate.
2023
SPIRITUAL
CHERUBIM
Traditionally the cherubim is an unearthly being closest to god often believed to be the angels that guard the garden of EDEN. They are described to have four heads, one of a human, an ox, a lion, and an eagle, each representing and symbolizing different characteristics.
The head of the human is a representation of shared humanity, empathy, and connection. The Ox embodies endurance and persistence, inspiring determination. The Lion signifies strength, courage, and divine majesty. The Eagle represents vision, spiritual insight, and ascension. In addition it is also described that the guardian angel of the garden of EDEN has a flaming sword used to defend anyone, or anything attempting to enter the garden.
I made this entire piece using procreate and Canva for the background
2024
DEVINE FEMININITY
For this Piece i had decided to make the text in Arabic to signify the significance of many religious and spiritual beliefs being historically from the middle east region of the world. The divine feminine is the feminine aspect of the divine power that connects and binds the Earth. She is the goddess energy that exists within all of us. Many ancient cultures had a divine feminine concept. The Egyptians had Isis; the Greeks had Aphrodite; and the Hindus had Shakti. I had chosen to make her in humanoid unearthly figure, by giving her the face and body of a woman, while also adding a surplus of wings to show she is of power and truly divine. The horns are a significant symbol in the Bible, representing strength and power. According to Revelation 5:6 and Habakkuk 3:3-4, horns also symbolize divine truth and the spiritual power of truth. In Exodus and Leviticus, horns on the altars reflect divine truth from the good, highlighting their symbolic ties to truth and spirituality. Her hand placement is also crucial to the development of this piece showing and signifying the statement "As Above so below; As within so without. This is a concept that all things are interconnected both spiritually and physically in our universe and that the microcosm mirrors the macrocosm, meaning both the heavens and earth are directly influenced by one another and the internal souls and awareness of humanity as a whole influence the way of the world.
I made this piece entirely in procreate.
2023
Equinox
DESPAIR
Despair: The complete absence or loss of hope This piece was created to showcase what despair means and how it can feel in a visual aspect. In the artwork to the right you can see the full visual concept showing the figure, Equinox, In a state of trauma. The color of his skin being blue, purple, and red show the emotions he is facing. Blue and purple showing the cold emptiness within reflecting on the outer most parts of himself. Signifying that his body is in a state of depression and heavy causing him to crawl on the floor to move rather than walking. On his body you can see a black like fluid that is dripping densely off him in a puddle beneath him showing the weight he carries in this state of mind. Around his head you see the color red which signifies the state of anxiety and fear of not knowing what's to come next. in addition to the color there is a fluid like substance exploding from his mind which shows how his thoughts are radical and chaotic during this state of mind. The grid background serves to show that the subject is within a void and alone, as the subject attempts to reach for something that isn't there with a severed arm as he is completely unable to grasp, or pull himself out of this place alone.
I made this entire piece using a 3d model of the figure and editing, coloring, and adding details in procreate.
2023
SELF PORTRAITS
SERENITY
This portrait is rather simple, early into my digital art stage, having no idea what i was doing or ow things worked, this was the first self portrait and portrait in general I've ever done. There isn't much deeper meaning within this piece, however i chose the name "serenity" due to the feeling that this piece portrays. With warmer colors it feels inviting and peaceful. Although there is no clear smile or direct facial expression it simply feels shows a peaceful moment.
This piece was made on my ASUS Vivo Flipbook using the default painting app, Paint3D.
2021
METAMORPHISIS
Further exploring my digital art process I made this piece shortly after the first one. I chose the name metamorphosis because during this time i was gong through an internal change that i was not ready for nor expecting. With starting a new phase of life and some many aspects of my life that I believed to be permanent factors completely changing, or leaving my life, I had no choice but to make a change myself. In this piece i chose the color pallet of browns, and gray/black to represent a sense of grounding. I added a melting halo around my head because during this time i believed that maybe the things that were happening in my life were directly my fault which made me feel as though i was losing my good nature as a person. I have the hand covering the face to try and hide the emotions that were on my face but in term they showed through the body language itself. Many of the other factors within this piece were just artistic creativity give off a certain cohesive look that eventually shaped my art style moving forward. I can truthfully say this was my first piece that I truly took pride in.
This piece was made on my ASUS Vivo Flipbook on the default app, Paint3D
2022
SELF DESTRUCTION
After learning more tools and methods to my digital art, I made a third self portrait which I titled "Self Destruction". After beginning to learn myself on a new level I became more aware of my own habits and it would seem that in some scenarios I would self sabotage. To break the piece down, I will start with the color pallet chosen. I went with a dark blueish gray tint for the background to reflect the emotional understanding of the subject. The desaturated blue can signify the desaturation I felt in my life at the time. In the background you can se screaming mouths to show the anger i was withholding inside, an eye that represents the feeling of being watched constantly and being judged, allowing anxiety to rule over my life, and a mouth sewed shut which showed my fear of speaking up for myself or even the lack of being able to. The main subject also has his mouth sewn shut using red which also represents the pain I felt from my current state of mind. I also brought the halo back which still represented me feeling as if i was losing my good nature, and battling how to handle certain decisions. The face of the subject is filled with cracks which help to express the uncertainty and instability within. Towards the back of the subjects head the cracks turn to a fluid like substance which shows how the thoughts were flowing uncontrollably throughout the mind.
I made this piece using procreate
2023
OTHER PORTRAITS
SWEVEN
A vision seen in sleep; A dream
Made with my ASUS Vivo Flipbook default app Paint 3D
2021
Magazines
Each of these were simply for fun, with an attempt to boost my portfolio and see what I'm capable of.
Made with adobe illustrator
Pictures taken with Nikon D3400 55mm Lens
2024
Typography
CREATIVE TYPOGRAPHY
This is a series of posters I made for a project which was simply playing and illustrating typography in a chaotic but organized way. Using cohesive colors to keep the two posters connected and changing the elements drastically between the two posters to add variety.
Made using Adobe illustrator
2023
Propaganda Poster
For my propaganda poster I decided to go with big pharma. I do think modern day medicine is amazing and can help change peoples lives but the pharmaceutical companies are for profit private organizations which allows them to price these drugs however they see fit making it very hard for individuals who really need that product to be able to receive it and have a better quality of life. In addition there are some companies that push their drugs onto clinics encouraging doctors and members of the medical field in power to push these highly addictive drugs onto patients, while giving these members stipends for higher dosages which can cause patients to become more prone to addiction.
Made using Adobe illustrator and Canva
2023
ARTISTIC EXPLORATION
In this section you will find many experimental works and concepts as well as inspirations that continue to drive my work. Here I'm showcasing sketches, portraits, and digital creations I find has taken my work to the next level. Some pieces are dated years apart and some significantly better than others, but each piece on this page I feel has a huge significance on the direction my work has gone, and I hope you enjoy browsing, and understanding the work.